All Rights Reserved.Is Yoga for Me? You thought, “This isn’t supposed to happen!” Or maybe you watched them go through divorce, struggle with a cross-country moves or deal with national tragedies like 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina?Every family goes through tough times together. However, most of the time, someone who’s going through these types of challenges needs a verbal push from a loved one in order to make changes.When you see someone you love struggling with personal issues, come up with a game plan on how to approach him or her. For your family, the dinner table may be a good place to discuss difficult issues. Again, practice self-care strategies and give yourself time and space to tend for yourself as you process and integrate this experience.Sometimes people approach us with difficult topics and we find ourselves having negative reactions to being confronted.
There has to be one family member who’ll take the lead. Consider the following strategies as you broach the subject you’ll be discussing:Recap what you’ve discussed, including solutions you’ve come to and areas where you may have agreed to disagree.For especially difficult topics or if a conversation did not go as you hoped, it will be important to enlist the help of your support system. Try to remain reasonable and balanced in your expectations and let go of wording and rewording things in your head ahead of time with the goal of convincing the other person you’re right. And relationships with family members can be exceptionally so. But more often than not, those conversations can help avoid future conflict and bring people closer together.Typically, people have a challenging time discussing important topics with their family because they’re afraid of how to approach the topic or what the outcome will be. How does your loved one want to be remembered? Sit down with your parents in the next 30 days, hire an attorney to help with legal necessities and begin with responsible choices.
Add to this the fact that we all have beliefs about conflict and confrontation that were shaped by our past experiences and cultural backgrounds, so for many people these words might also elicit feelings of fear, dread, and perhaps the tendency to avoid conflict in order to keep the peace.But what if speaking or hearing these words could be reframed as a need for connection, closeness, and deeper understanding? Listen and try to understand the other side .
That said, there is no “perfect” time or situation that will guarantee the other person will have a positive reception to the conversation.This is the part many people often struggle with the most because raising a concern entails direct communication, emotional vulnerability, and the potential for conflict. The more boundaries that are established prior to a big discussion like this, the stronger you’ll feel.By providing boundaries and support for yourself, you’re loving yourself through whatever the outcome of their responses are.Do you remember the first time you saw your parents cry over the death of a loved one? Instead, ask yourself these questions to gain greater clarity into your perspective:Practice techniques for self-soothing and centering ahead of time, that way they can be leveraged in the moment when you need them the most.
It can be a tough combo, creating a celebratory mood while also dealing with serious family issues. Most everyone dreads the difficult, challenging conversation. Did one of your parents tell you things to intentionally exclude the other parent? Our mission is to promote the growth of each client and our hope is that each individual discovers well-being. That question could prompt a beautiful conversation. This gives me hope that we can continue to discuss difficult things in the future so they don’t negatively impact our relationship.” Debrief. It may be helpful to include another family member to help problem-solve or come up with resources for professional help.You never know when someone is ready for change, so offering assistance is the best way to help him or her with this process.Relationships are hard work. Uncertainty is an emotional state we as humans are not huge fans of, so our natural inclination might be to respond with pre-emptive defensiveness or the belief that we are right in an effort to create certainty and stability, and perhaps also preserve our egos. Not all family conversations have to be serious. Reach out and debrief with a trusted friend or your partner. Again, practice self-care strategies and give yourself time and … Having open conversations with family members also helps me get to know my patients better. For some, this can lead to a sense of anxiety or dysphoria as the holidays approach due to feeling stuck and uncertain about how to proceed.Saying or hearing the words, “We need to talk,” often provokes feelings of uneasiness, mainly because these words acknowledge the elephant in the room: Something is unresolved and needs to be addressed, and because it is unresolved it remains uncertain. But medical and financial realities must be addressed. If you’re an older adult and your children are having a hard time discussing these issues, get all legal matters taken care of and send them an email with bulleted points on everything you’ve done.Kate Cummins, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in health and neuropsychology, depression, anxiety, life transitions, and relationship issues. If you’re feeling nervous about approaching the conversation or find yourself playing it out in your head, that’s a great time to practice mindfulness, deep breathing, or grounding techniques, which allow you to acknowledge your emotions and return to the present moment.“I’d like to talk to you about ______ and am wondering if you have time on Tuesday evening for us to sit down together.”It’s also important to consider the physical space you’re in when approaching difficult or sensitive topics.